Discord server owner Kruzadar Dean is dead, his death occurred on 10th September 2020.
Confirming Deans death was his friend and sister, Madi Kruz, Madi writing her heartfelt tribute revealed how close and brotherly Dean was to her.
Read Below Madi Kruz’s Official Statement:
I want to preface this with a couple of things:
Thank you for respecting my privacy over this past while. It hasn’t been easy, but I wanted to get permission before sharing any information publicly.
While I know people have a lot of opinions on the internet, I would like to ask that we be respectful of Dean’s family. We all grieve in our own way and there are a lot of emotions we’re all feeling right now. I’m not going to deal with any rude comments on this matter and I will swiftly kick you from the community.
The hard part.
On September 10th, Dean passed away. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. Dean was the brother I never had biologically. We talked every day for the last 5-6 years of our friendship.
I received a phone call from Mickey on September 11th at 2:30AM as I was about to fall asleep. We never directly call one another’s phones unless it’s urgent (aside from goofing around on stream). I assumed it was something business related, Mickey being my manager and all, but instead said that Jeb had just rejoined the call and needed me to join back. He said it’s serious and hung up. I joined discord from my phone and put the guys (Noah, Mickey, and Jeb) on speaker for Taylor and I. Jeb looked torn up and I was concerned.
Jeb got a message from one of Dean’s IRL friends on Discord at 2AM, asking when he had last talked to Dean. They then asked Jeb to join their Discord server. Jeb was told that Dean had passed away on September 10th. We all broke down; it still didn’t seem real. I knew it’d hit harder at some point, so I put out the tweet about disconnecting for a few days, then needing more time. I didn’t want to say anything publicly until I got permission from Dean’s family. Prior to this statement, we have told people on a need-to-know basis.
Dean was the brother I never had, and my parents saw him the same way. We all admired him so much. He was such a great guy, and I’m going to miss him every day for the rest of my life. He did so much good for this world. He was such a great friend. Dean was one of the reasons I found myself again after being in an extremely emotionally abusive relationship and reminded me what real friends were like. I was a Madi/Kruz that’d been lost for years and on the verge of losing a scary battle. Dean was one of the people who saved me unintentionally, and I always reminded him and the guys of how thankful I was for them and their friendship. I went to Dean for everything, and vice versa. He was my buddy, and always knew how to make me feel better and laugh. Dean was the wing man for both Taylor and I when it came to dating. He always said how much he loved that two of his close friends were dating and would even flaunt himself as being the matchmaker. He was so proud, and I always appreciated him for it. I still do.
He’s always been my ride or die. He knew so many random facts about (somehow) everything, and I’m going to miss calling him Dean-ipedia and Dean-ctionary cause of that. I can’t imagine how my life would have been without Dean back then, and it sucks that I have to now. Dean was supposed to be my “maid” of honor at my wedding. We were supposed to go travel the world together as a group. We had so many games left to play. We had so many plans. He was just talking about how excited he was to visit soon and meet Shiva (my dog) and how they were going to be best buddies… It’s terrifying how much life can change so fast. I miss him so much. I’m having a few breakdowns a day, but I know I’ll be ok. I know that Dean will always be with me, even if he’s no longer with us physically. I’ll forever cherish the memories I’ve made with him.
A part of me is gone. A part of the stream is now gone too. I know he meant so much to the community which makes this that much harder. I feel like a parent who didn’t know how the hell to break it to their kids. I’m so sorry I cannot be there for everyone. I truly hope you guys go give your loved ones a hug since I can’t in place. I know he loved you all so much. He loved being a part of the stream (even though he wouldn’t stream himself haha) and he’d tell me almost every day. We made so many memories and we loved sharing them with you guys. It’s hard being a content creator with a situation like this. I hate the fact that I even need to share this information on a large scale, but it wouldn’t be fair to you all if you didn’t find out from me.
This all being said, we all have different coping mechanisms. Stream/content creation and gaming is my coping mechanism for everything. It always has been. Normally, I don’t make a good chunk of my personal life public and carry on without any of you knowing. But I can’t hide this one… I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but this is how it’s always been for me since I’ve started. If this bothers you, feel free to unfollow, I understand. I need to distract myself for some part of the day to try to go back to normal, because I’m going to be struggling for a while. I’m going to do a stream later today addressing this and share the VOD to YouTube. I don’t have the strength to keep breaking the news to people, and I can’t imagine refilming/editing something like this. I also know most people don’t follow me here on Twitter.
I want to politely ask you guys to try to not bring him up or give your condolences to me on stream aside from the addressing stream and here. I understand that it’s coming from a good place, but it’s just too painful for me. I want to try to move on and be distracted from how I know I’m going to be feeling off-stream. I’m going to keep uploading the footage I have left of us gaming to YouTube, because I feel it’d be a disservice not to. I want to remember the good times with him. I think we all should as they’re a good reminder that memories live on forever. He might be gone, but the memories we made, and the videos capturing them, will last. He’ll always be in my heart. As for the podcast, it’s on hold until further notice. We filmed the first episode over a week ago, but I don’t want to throw something like that up. Especially for a series. It’d only lead to confusion for a lot of people.
I love you guys. I would love to hear some of your favourite memories of Dean down in the replies.
Sorry for your loss Madi and appreciate you sharing this with your audience. I’m sure it was extremely difficult to put into words but you explained your feelings really well.
— Joel (@NobodyEpic) September 16, 2020
Im so sorry Madi. I would consider myself to be new to your community because ive only been here for a few months. Dean will be so misssed. Youtube and Twitch for me are escapes from the suckiness that life is sometimes. I spend hours and hours just watching videos and streams.
— Kaz00 Man (@Th3Kaz00Kid) September 17, 2020
oh my god….oh my god madi i am so sorry. i am SO heartbroken for you, and for dean’s family. this is the worst possible thing that could have called for your absence, i’m praying so hard for all of you, taylor, mickey, everyone. strength and peace will come in time, but you do
— sapph💎 (@SolidSapphire_) September 16, 2020
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